The On-Deck Circle

Retired Pittsburgh Pirate, Scooter Scarlata, takes in a ballgame played at sea with massive ships.  A pitch is hurled towards home plate, the ball a rocketing speedboat.  Scooter grumbles about night games, but Lisa Locklin, waiting in the on-deck circle, explains that the late start is for the benefit of primetime television viewership. The announcer calls a third strike and summons Lisa to the batter’s box.

The team’s assistant director points Scooter to the on-deck circle.  He indicates that Lisa is merely sex appeal for the show, a ratings bonanza.  Fearful of losing viewers, the assistant director explains that the league has hired former baseball players to generate more hits and stoke excitement.  The assistant director reveals the pitches that Scooter will face and insists that he deliver a hit.  Scooter requests a fastball.

The assistant director introduces Scooter to Jack Keech, who operates the ball.  Keech describes the game’s mechanics, and the assistant director demands that Scooter reach dry land to deliver a home run.  Lisa strikes out, and Scooter is called to the plate.